Thursday, October 06, 2005

Hype and Hysteria

Ok, now this is ridiculous. Here is Oprah's list of offender characteristics of child molesters--included on the list are adults who know too much about children's fads or music. I know many people who would fit this bill--I guess they should turn themselves in. But wait--states such as Alabama are tightening up on laws against child molesters--and Oprah promotes one sexual offense and life in prison, so it would probably be too risky. And the courts have very little in the way of restitution if a person is accused unfairly (see this article). In fact, you get more punishment for being cruel to a chicken in Arizona than you do for falsely accusing someone of being a child molester.

The emotionally driven laws and the media hype on child molesters could actually backfire--and some of the victims of its aftermath are children. For every list of "offender characteristics of child predators" that includes normal adult behavior, there are thousands of adults who will decide that the risk of mentoring children, talking to children or caring for children is too high. The child who is in need of a hug will get a shrug instead, the kid who is depressed will get a dismissal and the boy who needs a male mentor will get a cold shoulder.

I am not saying that child molesters should not be put behind bars--they absolutely should--but making laws and promoting social policy driven purely by emotions have a way of backfiring and hurting those they were most meant to help.

19 Comments:

Blogger Mark K. Sprengel said...

You make excellent points. Your post reminds me of comments I heard among family members recently regarding how careful they are when they see a child, so as not to scare the parents. Trying not to be "too friendly" or smile a lot sounded like so much paranoia to me, but with Oprah's list, I guess it isn't so paranoid after all.

12:11 AM, October 07, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent point. In a private psych hospital where I used to work it was far too often that I had to tell fellow therapist NOT to rely on lists of "charactoristics" of being an abused child, or wife, or whatever in place of doing some quality clinical interviews.

P.S., I'm glad you've added comments.

10:05 PM, October 07, 2005  
Blogger TigerHawk said...

This is sadly obvious. I don't write this to disparage your post, but as an expression of despair that such obvious unintended consequences matter not to the media organizations that profit from hyping child abuse and the politicians who build their careers around obsessing about it. Yes, child molestation is really, really bad. But the social consequences of alienating people who fear false accusation who otherwise would be kind to children in need of comforting are tragic. And, in addition to the points you make, what is the lesson that we teach our children? That the world is a heartless place where anybody can be a predator. Even if this is true (and I do not believe that it is), is it entirely clear that we should teach this idea to children?

4:37 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a 51 year old bachelor. I used to coach youth soccer, 7 years 2 teams a year. I gave it up due to the reaction of parents upon learning that I have no kids and wanted to know why I volentarily gave of my free time to try and help. The worring about getting accused of child molesting and being sued got to me in the end

6:21 PM, October 08, 2005  
Blogger Jeff said...

I read over the list of offender traits and found out that until recently, that my wife and I would have raised flags on about 3 of the criteria, because we were still unmarried at the time. We are adult volunteers for our church youth groups. We do it so that we can help the teens get through adolecence and not make the same mistakes that we made as teens. While I understand the cautiousness, it does seem that with this list, some will go overboard. I try very hard not to make a child or their parent uncomfortable, and I pray that I'm not alienating the kid who needs attention that keeps them from damaging themselves, as I have seen happen over the past year.

6:35 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doc: More power to a geek like Glenn for snagging a brainy beauty like you. Even better that you're feeling well enough to blog. That said: please please please PLEASE please PLEASE get rid of the white-type-on-a-black-field (reversed type). Yes, design-wise it seems elegant and arty. But it is many times more difficult to read than dark-type-on-a-light-field. I beg you not to undercut the value of the communication occurring here with a hard-to-read design.

Jack

7:40 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whenever I see anything about our current sexual predator laws, I'm always reminded of a young man in our neighborhood who had consensual sex at 21 with a girl who was 16. Her parents pressed statutory rape charges against him, and he is forever branded a sexual offender who must register and report wherever he lives. It's another case of a well-intentioned law paving the way to hell.

8:22 PM, October 08, 2005  
Blogger Simon Hawkin said...

You make good points. Do you think there is a chance Oprah and others will listen to you?

So sad that the press fad is detrimental to our lives.

8:28 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happily married for many years. We don't have children. I used to be a paramedic.

If I saw a child crying on a street corner, I'd walk on by. The most I'd do is call 911 and probably not even that since it would ID my cell phone. It is no longer worth the risk to be a caring person.

9:22 PM, October 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a coach for an indoor soccer team. My son was on the team so I was "legit". It was for very young kids and so it was coed. They told us up front that we would be a role model for the kids, which I was ok with. One little girl for whatever reason took to me. I would be watching the game with everyone else and she would come over and lean on me and want to sit on my lap. She acted like I was her father. It made me extreamly uncomfortable. On the one hand I did not want her to feel rejected which would effect her self esteem. One point of playing sports is to improve self esteem. On the other hand although it was innocent enough, I didn't think it was appropriate behavior. I did not know how to deal with it. I never coached again. On a similar front. My father taught me to never meet with a woman alone with the door closed, always leave the door open. An accusation is equivalent to guilt.

12:37 PM, October 09, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doc:

Glad you gave up the reversed type! But why'd you pull your pic? That I liked! Oh well.

Jack

12:16 AM, October 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like to disagree with the gentlemen above. White text on black is much better for readability. When you're a person who's on the computer as much as I am, you really appreciate it when people use black backgrounds and contrasting text -- It took about 10 seconds of looking at the "new" black text on a white background for my eyes to start feeling strained.

3:35 PM, October 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at training for being a schoolteacher, they taught us: don't let preschoolers sit on your lap or hug you, don't ever call them "honey" or anything not their full name (a tough one in the South!), don't ever use physical contact to comfort a crying four-year-old... goodness.

9:24 PM, October 11, 2005  
Blogger Jay said...

Dr. Helen-

I second Jeff Lutz's comments above. I recently graduated with my MA in Pastoral Studies, and I'm working with the teenagers in my local church right now. Although I am extremely careful never to say or do anything that could possibly be misconstrued with them, the drive home at the end of the night is always long and frustrating - did I say anything that could be misconstrued? did I do anything that could be misconstrued? Did another of my teens do anything to another? Did one of my assistants do anything?

It's a shame, but it's the truth. A false accusation against me or my wife would not only ruin what I'm doing now, but also the rest of my life. It's a fear that many of us labor under.

PS - I like the white background with black text. Much easier on my eyes.

11:28 PM, October 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh for heaven's sakes. My 21 year old daughter, a senior in college, who volunteers her free time at her church, would be on this insane list, as would I for reaching out to kids I know and love.

Please...

11:36 PM, October 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are absolutely right. I used to be a youth minister. One day we had a seminar on child abuse that provided a list similar to Oprah's, and I was never comfortable with youth ministry after that. I felt like everyone assumed I was a child molester because I worked with kids.

Not only that, but it had a huge effect on how I did my job. Before the seminar, our group had had movie nights as an alternative to other teenage weekend activities (drinking, etc.) After the seminar, these were cancelled because the seminar taught that it was highly questionable to have a group of kids at one's house. I used to call kids on the phone if they had seemed distraught at youth group the day before. This also stopped after the seminar. (According to the seminar, one should call and first tell the parents why one was calling, but teenagers rarely appreciate someone telling their parents that they were crying at youth group.) These are just two examples, but there are many more.

I don't do youth ministry anymore. I just feel too weirded out about it.

10:23 AM, October 12, 2005  
Blogger Serket said...

As the others have said, I think the ones about single adult volunteers and adults volunteering in an activity that doesn't have their own children in it, are really lame criteria.

I have a six-year-old first cousin (her mom is close to my age) who is really cuddly and loves to give me hugs. It makes me feel uncomfortable for this very reason.

2:17 PM, December 13, 2006  
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