I was thinking of doing a podcast featuring men talking about marriage--pro or con--and started conducting a little research. I initially went to Nomarriage.com
which I found too mean-spirited; for example, here is a list that FireYourwife
tells husbands is the type of advice wives are getting pre-divorce:
Wait till he falls asleep. Rifle through his pockets.
Does he fall asleep after sex? Have fun -- then rifle through his pockets!
Go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City and tell him you lost it all -- except you did not.
If your husband pays your credit card bills but won't share his cash, charge! Then return for cash refund or resell that expensive stuff to friends.
If you cook, serve him hamburger, not steak. Pocket the difference.
If a bill is for $220, round it up to a nearest hundred and enter $300.
"Pay" the same phone or utility bill three times each month.
Always carry something to remind you of your husband...like his credit card.
Secrets are not necessarily bad. Putting money away can be a wonderful thing for a relationship.
The first one who gets to the bank is the one to empty the joint accounts.
Learn to aggravate your husband whenever possible.
Criticize him daily... Accuse him of having affairs (falsely)... Lend his money to your relatives... Run up his credit cards... Nag, Nag, Nag...
Control your husband by being alternately loving and indifferent to keep him in a state of continual concern.
His money is going to be your money anyway when he drops dead.
I was upset reading this, thinking, surely women do not stoop to this--but as a psychologist and a grown-up, I guess I should know better.
Apparently, this controlling behavior can start during a marriage that is not categorized as "pre-divorce" (although maybe it should be)." I came across this site by a Mad Suburban Dad
) discussing his puzzlement at being a well-managed husband. The author of the blog seems perplexed and a bit taken aback when he finds out that his wife is chatting up other women about how they "manage" their husbands. He asks his wife what "well-managed" means and gets this interchange:
"A well-managed husband does not realize he is being managed, nor do his friends," she said. "Usually, the only other person who can tell he is well managed is a woman who also has a well-managed husband or boyfriend." Then I asked the question that I am afraid to ask and even more afraid to hear the answer to: "So, if you know your friend's husband is 'well managed,' does that mean I'm 'well-managed' too?" I asked with trepedation.
Mad Mom gets this silly grin and says: "Excuse me, I have got to go to the bathroom."
Say what? If I was MadDad and I heard this, I would have been livid. No trepedation, no humiliating strikes
like MadDad talks about (check out post 4-4), no asking women on my site for comments, no, nope, nada. Just a simple statement from me to this prize of a wife, "I hear you talking like that or trying to manipulate me like that again and I am out of here."
And I would mean it.