Thursday, November 27, 2008

PJTV: Ask Dr. Helen: From Himbos to Holiday Stress

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

If you are feeling a bit stressed about the holidays (or just need a laugh), take a bit of time to watch my segment on PJTV. I answer your emails and questions from himbos to the holidays. The first question is from a male reader who wonders if it's okay to be an "intentional himbo" (pictures included). Then the topic turns to holiday stress including how to deal with politics at the Thanksgiving table and how to cope with gift-giving for the kids post-divorce. You can watch the video here ( free with no registration needed).

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27 Comments:

Blogger uncle ken said...

Before my fourth divorce Thanksgiving was a Rat Race. My mother-in-law married seven times ( I wish I was making this up) to six different suitors. She shot one of them - right through the kitchen door. Anyway, this meant each and every holiday there were several mandatory, all-you-can-eat turkeythons. The groaning boards of fare were spread across the width and breadth of greater Houston, more than100 miles from stem to gudgeon. None of the 'families' acknowledged the others existence. All insisted that dinner was at 1:00 PM.

So. Thanksgiving consisted of driving at breakneck speed from one place to another in heavy holiday traffic, car filled with bitching rug rats, and eating more than you wanted faster than you wished, all the while fending off complaints that you were either too early, too late or not hungry enough. The 'Thanks' part consisted of a rush of eternal gratitude when Thanksgiving was finally over.

I finally cured myself of my 40 year addiction to homo feminis and learned to survive, blissfully independent of the constant whining and nagging that domesticity entailed. I became, for the first time in my life, a completely happy man. Now I celebrate the arrival of the Pilgrims with a traditional feast: frozen corn dogs and beer, eaten in my underwear, unshaven, in a gigantic man-chair in front of the TV, while watching enough football to make my head explode. The Detroit Lions may be toothless but that in its ownself is blessed relief, after enduring so many sharp teeth for most of my past existence.

I'm free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last! Uuurrrrp!


uncle ken

6:58 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger Helen said...

uncle ken,

Good for you. I used to think that it was imperative for people to try and get along with family members despite their flaws etc. I realize I was wrong. Situations like yours would make anyone grateful for peace. Congrats and enjoy the corn dogs and football!

7:12 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger Cham said...

Regarding discussing politics with family members. In a big family gathering I would probably recommend against a big raucous political discussion, however, not all circumstances are the same.

My father and myself have a good relations. He's a bigwig now in the Republican party and I am a Democrat. My father loves to talk politics and so do I. My mother has a screw loose, to put it mildly.

About a month ago I was visiting with them, and my dad and I started talking about the election in a friendly adult-like manner. My mother who was in the kitchen at the time but she heard us and started screaming like a banshee. She didn't want us to talk politics. I said, "I'm talking with my father, this has nothing to do with you, why are you getting upset? There isn't anyone else here."

She replied, "Both of you are ruining this visit." My dad and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. The issue wasn't the political discussion, the issue was my father and I were having a fun discussion that my mother wasn't able micromanage and control. I guess what I am trying to say is think hard before you jump in and demand people speak of only preselected topics. You might hear an argument, but others might just be having some fun.

8:39 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger fred said...

We all seem to differe so much on political matters that it is sensible to avoid arguments that tend to spoil gatherings. Hoever, what we do have in common and can be discussed without rancor: the terrible campaign the GOP ran this time around; the inadequate choice made for Pres and
VP; the botched record for the past 8 years by Bush; and the need for the govt to intervene in what some like to believe is a "free market" in order to save those who through greed, poor judgment, and deregulation brought about the need for us to use taxpayer's money to save what should not have been so messed up to begin with.
What is rather odd though is that there will be many who will continue to badmouth the president elect well before he steps into office rather than waiting to see what he actually does, accomplishes. Why this constant need to condemn, belittle before he has taken office? That tells us more about the person making the sneering comments than about anything residing in reality.

Enjoy the holiday. Remember too though that there are many much less fortunate than you.
Try to help in some way so they too might enjoy things, with or without arguments at the table.

9:01 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger DADvocate said...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

10:11 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger DADvocate said...

In my book, avoiding political discussions is the best policy. The larger the group, the more important it is to avoid politics.

Two experiences I've had: On my father's 80th birthday, I drove over 500 miles in a round trip just to be in town a couple of hours to be at his birthday luncheon. In the middle of lunch and unrelated to any current conversation, he blurted out, "What are we going to do about Bush?" And then refused to drop the subject when requested. I just gave him the evil eye. Needless to say, I was pissed that I had driven that far to listen to that crap.

The second was on Thanksgiving a couple years ago when we had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house and she decided to make an issue of sexism regarding some of the males sitting down. I had worked the day before, cooked a ham, homemade rolls, real mashed potatoes and then driven 250 miles that day to be there. My son had made pigs-in-a-blanket right there under my sister's nose. My brother had worked that day plus made food items. My father was over 80 years old and tired. And, my sister, who has no kids, lives in a $300,000 house, has had the luxury of riding her husband's coattails, and views herself as some sort of enlightened progressive, accuses us of sexism because we sit down a few minutes to rest before dinner is served.

That was my last Thanksgiving in her presence. The only times I see her now is during functions to see my mother. I've never returned for Thanksgiving. Once my mother dies, I will avoid my sister like the plague. I'd rather eat Thanksgiving dinner at my ex-wife's house, which I did last night and had an enjoyable time. My daughter insists we all have Thanksgiving dinner together.

10:33 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger br549 said...

Yes, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. The bird is in the oven, and the smell is making me hungry!

The kids and I have decided to do as you have done, Dadvocate. We are going to have Christmas dinner and my ex will be there.

I won't comment on my indifference to her attendance, but will enjoy it as much as possible for the kids, and for "the reason for the season".

Forgiveness. Man, that is taking me a long time to learn. And it's not like I don't need it myself from time to time...........

10:58 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger Ern said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Reading some of the comments reminds me that there is some upside in the fact that none of my immediate family lives within five-hundred miles of me. Usually, I just focus on the fact that it takes some traveling for me to see any of them.

However you're celebrating yours, I hope that it's a great one.

11:08 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger GawainsGhost said...

Well, I'm actually having a blissful Thanksgiving. None of my relatives are coming over. Thank you, God. Now I get to watch football in peace.

I sent gift boxes from the New Braunfels Smokehouse, which is the very best (www.nbsmokehouse.com, check it out), to my brother in Maine and my friends in California, Colorado, Arkansas, Tennessee, New York, and Texas. So I'm feeling pretty good about myself, because I know they're all eating as well as I am.

Tonight we're having a honey glazed spiral sliced smoked ham, baked sweet potatoes with brown sugar and marshmallows, a nice apple salad, and pecan pie. Delicious!

Anyway, I watched this episode of PJTV and found Dr. Helen's advice to the intentional himbo rather telling. My advice would be to stop wondering what women want, even they don't know, and just be a man. I truly believe that to inspire love in a good woman only comes as a blessing from God (see Proverbs 33). So I stopped caring about what women want decades ago. The only thing that matters is just simply being a man, accepting your responsibilities without question, and doing what you have to do. The rest will take care of itself.

11:25 AM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger Jbar said...

So, how are we enjoying the two rather less than scintillating football games :)?

Oh, and Gawain's I think you meant Prov 31 since in my Bible at least Proverbs only has 31 chapters. If you've got 2 extra, I'm sure there's a cult to be founded along those lines :). Sorry, my Old Testament scholar side couldn't let that one slide.

Happy Holidays to all you Yanks. Our Thanksgiving is a pretty faded memory by now up here in Canada.

7:26 PM, November 27, 2008  
Blogger GawainsGhost said...

Well, a typo is a terrible thing, and I think it's time we had one!

1:46 AM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger uncle ken said...

Dyslexics of the world - untie!

6:38 AM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger uncle ken said...

Jbar says "Happy Holidays to all you Yanks".

Thank yew, Thank yew very much! If I may be afforded the temerity to do so, I wish to point out at this juncture to all our dear friends from the northern regions that the word "Yanks" has a somewhat pejorative context below the Mason-Dixon line. No offense implied, and none taken; but as an act of contrition may I ask you Trudeaupians to stop referring to The War of 1861 as a "Civil" war. Twern't no such thang.

6:53 AM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger Jbar said...

Okay..what term do you prefer then? My knowledge of that particular conflict comes from the Michael and Jeff Shaara novels so I'm certainly willing to be further educated.

Oh, as an aside, Trudeau's son just got elected to Parliament so we may be 10-15 years away from Trudeaupia redux. I missed it the first time around (born in '79).

9:54 AM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger uncle ken said...

Every ten years we get a census form. It asks whether I am African, Samoan, a Native American (Aboriginal to you) or even [gasp] Caucasian. I write in "American". The form goes on to ask about toilets, but I digress...

'American' is fine. 'Y'all' will suffice. Robert E. Lee was a Commandant at West Point in NY. When the South withdrew (legally - thus it was a war between nations, not an intramural "civil" conflict) Lee joined the Confederacy since he felt his first loyalty lay with Virginia. Personally I think of myself as Texan, but we are all Americans here. 'Southerner' is accurate but excludes the multitudes living in the more beknighted states. 'Redneck' only applies to those who tan - the races have always been far more geographically intermixed in the South than in Detroit or Chicago.

Watch out for Trudeau Lite - you don't want to end up with a heirarchal aristocracy like we have here with the Bushes and Clintons.

10:23 AM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger Jbar said...

Uncle Ken,

I would say he's at least 10 years away from seriously considering running for leadership of his party (the Liberal Party of Canada) so we'll see what happens then. They're currently selecting a new leader and if the current frontrunner wins (Michael Ignatieff: used to teach at Harvard. PoliSci, I think)I don't think they're be room for Trudeau II for awhile.

Thanks for the, errrr, 1861-65 conflict information too.

Here endeth the thread hijack.

1:28 PM, November 28, 2008  
Blogger Michael Lee said...

Unfortunately, Muslims were murdering people in Mumbai as we were fogging up the kitchen.

Someone asked, Why are they doing that?

I answered, I don't know--standard issue Muslim crap probably.

To which someone responded, I have a friend who's Muslim. Someone else said, well, there's not much difference between them and the radical Christians.

I said nothing. I could have said lots of things.

How many other racist friends do you have besides that Muslim girl?

When's the last time Jerry Falwell attacked a hotel in San Francisco?

Does your Muslim friend still have a clitoris?

The food was good.

9:42 AM, November 29, 2008  
Blogger BrutcherSP said...

From now on, I'm going to be a Samoan.

12:52 PM, December 05, 2008  
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