Sunday, October 25, 2009

Kids and pop culture, men's issues and domestic violence

I talked about all of these issues today on George Korda's show "State Your Case" on NewsTalk 100 WNOX in Knoxville from 12:00 until 1:00. Callers called in to talk about the unfairness of the courts, their divorce and/or the treatment of men in the media. It made for an interesting afternoon and made me realize how many more resources are needed out there to provide men with a platform for some of their concerns.

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21 Comments:

Blogger br549 said...

Is there a replay time / date?

4:00 PM, October 25, 2009  
Blogger Helen said...

br549,

I don't think so. The show was live. I should have put a post up before I did it so readers in the area could listen.

4:21 PM, October 25, 2009  
Blogger Cappy said...

Additional resources would be welcome.

7:34 PM, October 25, 2009  
Blogger Dr.D said...

Helen, your blog is a great platform for men to voice their concerns. I know of few others anything like it.

10:33 PM, October 25, 2009  
Blogger Doom said...

I am just pleased to have you as an advocate. Though I am a talker, some issues I just can't get into. I think it is something about seeing the attackers as weaker (intellectually, often physically, and quite often in the grand scheme of things). It makes striking back... uninteresting. I know we (men) have lost a great deal of ground, but it has more to do with the social scientists doing society wide experiments attempting to limit family size than it is anything "women activists" actually achieve (and probably to drive us to negative birth rates, which is true if you count out Latinos who are counted as white, for birth numbers).

I don't know, defending against most of these attackers is sort of like pulling out artillery to fend off gnats. A thing terribly unnecessary and ineffective in any case. I don't know how to go down to that level of defense. I don't even understand how to use appropriate levels of minor nagging aggression. I guess we will die out.

12:16 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Helen said...

Doom,

You make the mistaken assumption that your attacker (society, culture) is weaker than you. This is not true. When women and other men use the entire government to keep men in line, in jail, and afraid to speak up as so many are-- this is not weakness, it is an invisible force that you do not see until it is too late. To say that you will not get into these issues is to say that you will allow this force to continue.

5:36 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Trudy W Schuett said...

I've been doing a lot of radio lately -- just about every day this past week as well as today and tomorrow.

Only one station had any disagreement, and so far it seems this is a message people want to hear.

There is really no help for people in situations of domestic violence, and now the radical feminist group running the OVW is getting bolder in their obvious attempts to subvert the issue as something political that can be "solved" thru socialism.

A look at the front page of the WCADV bears this out:
http://www.wvcadv.org/

BTW, I'm going to be on WLW -- an Ohio station this morning at 7 Pacific time/10 Eastern
http://www.700wlw.com/main.html

I'm beginning to think there's really the possibility of some better days for men!

8:17 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger br549 said...

Dr. Helen:

I would like to see your blog become some sort of national clearing house for this. If someone like Trudy is also doing a radio show elsewhere in the nation, perhaps they can all add a link (via a post in this blog comment section) to said station so one may listen from anywhere, as many radio stations now have Internet broadcasting capability.

Perhaps you can contact those you know, Doc, who are also doing similar things such as you. The eventual screaming and yelling from the opposing side will, as with Fox, increase the reader / listener base in no time.

8:50 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Trudy W Schuett said...

Unfortunately there aren't many of us out there. It's a very sticky issue with a lot of resistance from the opposition, and not many are willing to deal with that. I've had my own troubles and did leave the field for a time.

But if Doc Helen wants to know what I and the couple of others are up to, I'd be more than happy to comply!

9:03 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Helen said...

Hi Trudy,

Thanks for commenting. Congrats for all the radio that you are doing. People really seem to want to hear about men's issues. Most have been brainwashed to believe that men have no problems, are all ruling the world, and get a fair shake in the court system. Even the guy on the street is attempted to be made to feel like an idiot and shameful because he is male. This second class status seems antithetical to what we have been told but in the current culture, being male is seen as an aberration and admission of guilt for perceived wrongs. Thanks for speaking up.

9:13 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

helen, it is interesting that in your comment to doom you suggest that there is a conspiracy to keep men "down" via legal and social means. could the same be true of white people?

i see girl power t-shirts, black power t-shirts etc, but if i was to wear white power t-shirt the shit would hit the fan.....

11:10 AM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger TMink said...

Dr. Alistair, I have noticed this myself. It seems to me that many racial minorities view the world through race lenses. They have "their own" beauty pagents, music awards, and Chambers of Commerce. Well, blacks and Hispanics do this sort of thing, Asians, not so much.

And basically only racist white people do it. Or at least that is my perception. I am not concerned for the "white race" in the least despite being a member of it. And the idea of white power leaves me more than cold.

Is it that blacks and latinos need the focus because they are behind or is it the focus and racial preoccupation that keeps them behind? The Hispanic and African-Americans that I meet that are succesful are not in the least concerned with racially seperatist groups, they are interested in doing their job and raising their family.

So which is the chicken and which is the egg? Or more importantly, is it so called white racism or the intra group racial focus that couses the problems? Is George Bush or Al Sharpton the real enemy?

Trey

1:00 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger bmmg39 said...

"i see girl power t-shirts, black power t-shirts etc, but if i was to wear white power t-shirt the shit would hit the fan....."

I own -- and, coincidentally, am wearing right now -- a "BOY POWER!" T-shirt that I designed myself. (Light blue, of course.) It's sort of half a joke and half a statement, but most people seem to think it's pretty cool.

1:32 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Doom said...

Thanks Dr. Helen. I need to be told, often, when I am wrong. And, given a little thought, I suspect you are correct. However, even if this is granted full out, knowing what to do is the next logical question. Sure, there is voting (or abstaining as the case might really require, this isn't a team sport). And there is letter writing, calling, and protesting (none of which, to my mind, is all that affective).

And, since I do not believe in big government (so I do not look for solutions there in any case), the media is pretty much owned by the left, I am not sure where to begin a practical approach to tackling these types of issues.

Perhaps you have offered ideas here and I simply have not seen or seen quite where or how I could help, perhaps you have some notions now? (And, never worry about suggesting something I suggest is wrong, as I hope this comment validates). Sorry to make you work and all, but I am trying to be genuine and I am a bit lost. Further, I doubt if I am alone. Thanks!

These things are a great worry and hindrance to the process of simply finding a wife and settling down. A goal of mine. That used to be more akin to falling off a log than to the social, political, emotional, and legal landmine it has become. Even careful prep, pre-marital counseling, a Christian wife, financial security, or sincerity seem to affect outcomes anymore. *grumble*

3:33 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

doom, simply finding a wife and settling down is impossible. not to criticise your words, but the terms themselves.

we are caught in a belief that we can just settle down, and while i still believe it is possible in the long run, merely running a set play is a recipe for disaster....as our tragic divorce rates illustrate.

the solution?

active questioning.

i like the dating sites because you can get a guage of someone from a distance via thier profile and can reasonably objectively find out someone`s views, values and goals without having them come back to bite you after afew weeks of "dating".

i also like cold approaches with women who you might find attractive, and being able to get sense of someone in a book store or a shop is different from the romantic date type atmoshpere where people are on thier best behaviour. (lying.)

the thing i have learned to accept in my life is that i attract those people into my life that best reflect my present state and those who stay are the one`s who are willing to share that collective set of values.

my first two wives would readily agree...and my third to be is grateful.

to summerise, to want your ideal mate, you have to be the one for her also. here`s the secret......she`s a person too.

it seems that some men and probably some women have absolutely no idea that those meatbags walking around have minds, thoughts and desires and so they operate in some narssisstic tyranical state figuring that there must be someone out there who will worship them as they are and get trodden on and like it.


if you feel that way get a dog. you can kick a dog and he will come right back and bring his toy with him.

not so for a woman worthy of marrying.

well, not in my book anyhow.

4:55 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Doom said...

dr. alistair,

Nothing personal, but I am glad you aren't my doctor. I would be required to fire you along with the others. I am so not right for your advice and vise versa. I wish you luck in your ventures, you will need it. Though I can sympathize, I have my own troubles.

5:50 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Helen said...

Doom,

I think the idea is to change the culture by changing the way that people think about things. It can be done. Look at how women and the men who have helped them changed how the culture views women. I think it is important to make your thoughts known, not to hide them and to speak out when you see something that is unfair or unjust. For example, if I see others talking about men in a derogatory fashion, I try to speak up. I understand the government angle--I don't like big government either but I think you have to use the left's own tools against them as we see people like Andrew Breitbart and others doing and showing their hypocrisy. Remember, you don't have to do it alone. Try to remember that it does not all rest on you. There are many of us who feel that men should get a fair shake, the government is too big and too intrusive and our liberty is at stake. Find what you think you can do --be it write an article, work on your blog, etc., change a friend's mind etc. Many people are bypassing the media and it is working. It all adds up--all the small acts, thoughts and actions.

As far as finding a wife, ask yourself a few questions. What are you looking for? What are the qualities you are interested in in a person? Where can you go to meet such people? The way to find what you are looking for is to figure out what qualities you value in yourself and in others and then look for someone who shares these things with you.

7:02 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Cham said...

I have a family member who is 75 years old. Last month he finally decided to divorce his shrew of a wife. This woman was a leech before he married her and throughout the entire 20 year marriage, and will be a leech on him till the day he dies. She's made his life a living hell, and I am pretty sure he's enjoyed every minute of his wife's self-created drama.

Every single one of his family members and most of his extensive friend network has told him now is the time to empty the bank accounts, before the two get the lawyers. He won't do it, he says he is going to trust the leech as she might need the funds. Her specialty, BTW, is spending money.

I think he is going to get taken to the cleaners, and I'm not sure it is going to be the court's fault.

7:52 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

doom, the relationship between therapist and client is a delicate one. i wasn`t suggesting that you are one of the people without understanding of the needs of others. if you drew that from what i wrote then i apologise.

the nuance of language gets lost on blog posts occasonally, especially when issues are of personal importance.

the issue of relationships has become politicised and mutilated by the media,dividing men and women in sophisticated ways.

the more individuals dialog on forums such as these, the better chance we all have for happiness.

8:14 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Doom said...

Dr. Helen,

Gotcha. And, it looks like I am doing as much as I can do. Blog posts, commenting on other sites, discussions, and 'protecting my territory' as it were. And I will continue. I just wasn't sure what was being asked of me.

As far as a wife, I have a pretty good idea about her. The one thing holding me back, consciously, is the dubious nature of the marriage agreement itself. I doubt if I will have too much trouble finding a wife, to be honest. I might be wrong but I doubt it.

Thanks!

10:23 PM, October 26, 2009  
Blogger Helen said...

Cham,

"I think he is going to get taken to the cleaners, and I'm not sure it is going to be the court's fault."

You are right, if this man will not protect himself, who will? He is not going to pit himself against a woman. If he gets "taken to the cleaners" he will be partially to blame but don't be surprised if he feels taken advantage of after awhile.

5:14 AM, October 27, 2009  

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