Thursday, February 25, 2010

Take a look at this video of a Romanian teacher who slaps a cop (thanks to John Hawkins for the link). He slaps her back:



I have a couple of thoughts on the video. First, if a man who was not a police officer slapped a woman like that in the US, he would be taken in for abuse and second, the woman thinks nothing of hitting the officer and then cries like a baby when he hits her back. Women are so used to hitting men without being hit back that she is stunned that he did so. We don't know what took place prior so it is hard to comment more but I would like reader's opinion on what they think of the video.

Update: Okay, so the cop was asking her about charges of child abuse. Slapping a cop will really help her case. The problem is, women are not taught the boundaries of violence, therefore they think it's acceptable to use with any man. But many police officers are men and hitting them is not going to fly.

51 Comments:

Blogger God Of Bacon said...

I watched that three times.

Thank you.

9:41 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger TRO said...

It was a great moment I think considering the woman was (allegedly) abusing her students and an obvious bully.

As far as you observation about a civilian man slapping her instead of a police officer, well, when you think about it, isn't a slap a lot less traumatic than being taken to the ground and handcuffed which is what the police are trained to do here in the US.

The face slap deescalated the situation without causing any real physical damage. Maybe they should teach it here.

10:06 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

Ah, bullies. Pathetic creatures that deserve what misery is visited upon them. Personally, I love given them the Point And Laugh treatment.

Clearly, she thought she was entitled to visit violence upon someone while being immune to its return.

Goose, gander, etc.

10:18 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Oligonicella said...

Gabor.

10:30 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger blahga the hutt said...

Actually,

I was at a college football game back in the fall and there was a group of students who were pretty rowdy at the top. They were banging on on some overhangs and security eventually brought in the city cops to deal with it. One of the students, a female, actually took a swing at one of the cops and they immediately wrestled her to the ground (and the crowd cheered the cops...so awesome) and removed her from the game. So I think that sort of things happens here too. We just don't hear of it happening that often.

11:03 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger LPF said...

Well, for maximum effect, I think he should have let loose immediately after fixing his glasses... but it'll do.

Certainly he understands, and she just got a crash course in, the efficacy of negative reinforcement.

11:20 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger pduggie said...

This cartoon in on topic

http://www.pvponline.com/2010/02/24/touchy-subject/

11:25 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger pduggie said...

Watching it the second time, I thought she slapped because he yanked her arm. Then watching it the third time, I see she has her arm against his chest from the start, and that's why he pulls her arm away.

11:31 AM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Sparks said...

I'm a divorced dad. During an argument once, I tried to leave the room and go elsewhere because I was done arguing. In the hallway, my ex-wife didn't want me to walk away, so she moved into my path. When I tried to squeeze by her, she shoved me in an attempt to prevent me from passing. With my arm down by my side, I lifted my forearm up below chest-high and shoved her back and walked passed her.

She raised her voice at me and said, "Don't you hit me!"

It was certainly not a hit or a smack. It was simply me pushing back to that I could pass.

Another time, my son who was a pre-teen didn't like that I wasn't doing things his way. He got angry, and punched me as hard as he could in my thigh. I immediately reacted with a slap across his face just like this cop did to the lady.

He told his Mom about it, and she called her lawyer saying that I was physically abusing my son.

In her mind, it's OK for people to use violence or force against men, and if men retaliate, it's a crime and it's wrong.

She was often aggressive with me, would get in my face to intimidate me, threw things at me, but if I ever gave it back to her, she would be shocked, offended, and would act like I committed a heinous crime against her.

I will say that my son has never attempted anything like that since that one incident, so I am quite certain that I handled this in the most effective way I possibly could.

No physical harm came to him, as did no physical harm come to this woman in this video.

I totally support this cop in his reaction. If you want to be aggressive and strike somebody, then you have waived all of your rights not to be struck back harder.

What did Obama (or was it Axelrod) say? If the hit us, we'll hit back twice as hard?

12:05 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Laura said...

I feel kind of sorry about just how much I enjoyed that video. Too many women think we enjoy a right to be violent without consequences. If equal rights means anything, it has to also mean equal self-restraint and equal consequences for bad behavior.

12:41 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

I'm not sure the slap was in response to the first slap. The time between them and the change in faces makes me think she said something nasty after she slapped him, and he responded to that smack-talk with a slap. Where's alistair with his transaction analysis?

In any case, she's a bully. Putting her arm against his was an escalating move and her sob-storm was an attempt to garner sympathy and a sign of backing down from the physical game.

Pansy education psychologists always tell kids not to fight back against bullies, but in my second-hand experience, bullies and thugs are different personalities - a thug will smack you back and make it hurt, but a bully will reorient his/her frame once s/he realizes that you are not going to be controlled by the physical tactics. In a lot of cases, a good smack causes a bully to go find another victim because it's not worth it to re-calculate their strategy against you.

12:54 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger TMink said...

"Pansy education psychologists always tell kids not to fight back against bullies"

True dat.

I am reminded of a time I was working at a teen treatment center and a kid ran out of the building to throw himself in the street. I was wrestled him out of the street and he started spitting on me. He spit a lot, I had to change my shirt.

The cops came and one of them saw him spitting on me and threatened to slap him silly. The kid stopped the spitting. Just the mention of forceful consequences stopped the spit.

At the time, I was in work mode, and it honestly never crossed my mind. But the cop nailed it and stopped it with a phrase. Thanks pal!

Trey

1:09 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Brett said...

Well, women wanted equality.

This has always been my position regarding Male/Female violence: I won't be the first to strike, but if struck I'll react to a woman just like I would a Man. In other words, I'll hit back as hard and as often as I can.

1:27 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Eleanor said...

L.O.L. What an idiot.

1:40 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger J. Bowen said...

That...was...awesome!

6:45 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Sixty Grit said...

That's some funny sh*t right there. Is Wayne Brady gonna hafta slap a b*tch?

7:14 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger J. Bowen said...

In all seriousness, this display of sexism on the cop's part is somewhat disappointing. If a man had punched him, that man would probably have his face planted into the ground in as violent a manner as possible, be arrested, and be charged and convicted of assault (I'm sure they have laws against assault in Romania). While it's great that this cop taught that woman a valuable lesson, it's still disappointing that she was treated with kid gloves by that cop.

7:53 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger Double Minded Man said...

Can you imagine what would have happened had a man slapped the cop? A lot more than a slap, thats for sure!

8:05 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger pdwalker said...

I'm on the cop's side here.

Think about how he actually responded. His slap was barely more than a love tap. I'm sure it stung a little, but imagine, given his size, how hard he could of slapped her.

No, the woman got what she deserved, no more and no less.

I find it hard to imagine doing it myself given the way I was raised, but watching the cop do it, was, well, liberating. He's done something that I've imagined doing on one or two occasions but have never done.

10:55 PM, February 25, 2010  
Blogger J. Bowen said...

No, the woman got what she deserved, no more and no less.

If this woman got no more and no less than what she deserved then men are constantly getting far more than they deserve (and should also be free to assault people). This woman assaulted someone - which, again, I am willing to bet is illegal even in Romania - and belongs in a jail cell (that the guy was a cop shouldn't matter).

1:19 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger ruddyturnstone said...

From watching the video, it looks to me like the slap didn't even hurt her that much. This is a prety solid woman here, and the cop totally "meausured" the blow. No, she quite consciously turns on the water works, like women do all the time, to get sympathy, to make the cop feel like a "cad," to distract attention from whatever the underlying issue was and from the fact that she had already slapt him, without provocation.

Notice too that the cop almost buys into it, and he seems to want to "comfort" her after slapping her! That's how much what have become totally unfair and inapplicable codes of chivalry have been instilled into men. Even in the face of a big mouthed, physically abusive hag,as far from a "lady" as she can be, a man still feels like he has to act like a "gentleman."

So typcal! A woman initiates physical violence. A man responds with a reasonable, even lenient, counter blow in self defense, and the woman immediately goes into "oh poor little me, I'm a damsel in distress who is being abused by a big strong man, waaah, waaaah, waaaaah, call me a waaaahmbulance!!" mode.

As has been said, if a man accused of child abuse had pulled that stunt, the cop would have beaten the crap out of him AND the charge of assaulting a police officer (if not some even more serious, trumped up charge) would have been added to the sheet, and, after the beating, he would have been arrested and escorted none to gently to jail. Where, perhaps, some of the cop's brother officers might have added a few more blows, just for good measure.

Not saying that's right (it's not), but that's what a man would face. And, under our current regime of alleged gender equality, that's what a woman should get too.

4:22 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger johnny phenothiazine said...

She's probably a fool, but he's a swine. This is not a point I care to debate; any man who hits a woman, except in desperate self-defense, is far less than a man, period.

6:42 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Sarah said...

You have to find a video from Romania of one woman behaving badly in order to generalize about all women? Couldn't find one from the US? Can you find a video of a man behaving badly in order to make an equally asinine generalization about all men?

9:15 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Cerberus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:15 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Cerberus said...

Damn straight, they are way too liberal and permissive towards women there.

Thank god some men there are still willing to take a stand. We can really learn a lot about the proper treatment of women from Romanians like him.

9:17 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger TMink said...

Johnny, I think you may need to up your dose of phenothiazine based neuroleptics.

Any person who strikes a police officer in the lawful practice of his duties is in for a bad time. They SHOULD be in for a bad time. To allow otherwise is to allow society to falter.

Trey

9:42 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Nittacci said...

So, the takeaway from this article is that conservatives like to see women get hit?

Got it.

9:57 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

Johnny,

Spare us your "you should just take it like a Real Man" shtick. No one "should" hit anyone, but there's no reason an out-of-control person threatening an officer of the law shouldn't get a smack back. You speak as if women are a lesser being, like puppies.

10:21 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Helen said...

Sarah,

Women act badly in the US all the time, but almost never do you see any consequences for it at all. Women slap, hit and punch and feel secure in their knowledge that most men will not hit back. Not all, but most. Research shows that women instigate 71% of nonreciprocal violence in relationships, that is, they hit and the man does not hit back. Women learn that they can hit without consequence, but this is not always true--which is what the video shows. Here are the stats on female instigators of violence that I mentioned:

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/42/15/31.2.full?eaf

10:42 AM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Carl said...

Dr Mrs Putz,

Don't you love the internal hoops you have to jump thru to get from this:

Women are so used to hitting men without being hit back that she is stunned that he did so.

...to this?
women are not taught the boundaries of violence, therefore they think it's acceptable to use with any man.

So a man hits a woman enough times and she thinks its acceptable to hit any other man back, but men never hit women.


Hmmmmmmmmm. You sure you didn't buy your degree at Sears, dear?

12:00 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

Carl,

"So a man hits a woman enough times and she thinks its acceptable to hit any other man back, but men never hit women."

I think you need a reading lesson.

"Women are so used to hitting men without being hit back that she is stunned that he did so."

You will notice that in this sentence the woman is the subject, i.e. the one doing the hitting.

Dr Helen is not making the case that woman-on-man violence is normalized by men hitting women a lot.

In fact, intergender violence is approximately equal in America.

Please get a reading lesson, Mr Putz.

12:19 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

i think the cop had to wait long enough for his first instinct to abate.....though i will have to watch the clip again a few times to get a better feel for the transactional nuance.

the slap, as we can all remember, is a beautiful way to bring out the not-ok child in us all. had the cop gone for his first instinct, he would have given in to his not-ok urge and shot the woman or, at least, punched her full in the face.

the pig parent in the woman slapped the cop, hoping to reduce him to the pre-adolescent state, where she could have manipulated him more easily.(she was, after all, looking at criminal charges.)

the cop, being more grounded in the adult than she expected, waited until his child was soothed enough (in his internal dialog.) and slapped her back in that beautifully gallic fashion...and boom, instant tears from the woman`s not-ok child....and so the initial transaction could continue, which was for the cop to arrest the perp.

12:36 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Dr. Helen,

You posted a link for Sarah regarding interpersonal violence. According to that link, the study's author believes that the most important finding was that injury is more likely when violence is reciprocated. Do you agree with him or is your posting of that link meant to indicate your disapproval of the police officer striking back?

Thanks in advance. Sincerely,

Dragon-King Wangchuck

12:56 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger dr.alistair said...

and the woman still tried to swing as they walked past but the cop was guarded enough at that point ot parry the attempt.

1:03 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

Dragon King,

I'm not a psych, but it my view the appropriateness of a violent response depends on whether you are dealing with a bully or a thug.

A thug uses violence as a primary tool, and reacting with violence will only escalate their response again.

A bully uses violence as a frame of control and dominance, and when the frame is broken (as it was when the cop slapped back) the bully has to either move on to another frame (in this case, crying and acting the victim) or go bully somebody else.

1:38 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Helen said...

Dragon-King Wangchuck,

Given that the article states that reciprocal violence is more likely to end in injury of a man, I admire this brave officer for risking his own health.

1:58 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Carl said...

You will notice that in this sentence the woman is the subject, i.e. the one doing the hitting.

Apparently, you missed the point.

Do try to keep up. Dr Mrs Putz posted an internally inconsistent post.

I realize you're a product of the Reagan Department of Education budget cuts, so I have the soft bigotry of low expectations, but really...it's pretty simple English she's writing in.

2:13 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Carl said...

I admire this brave officer for risking his own health.

Moron, to quote Dr House.

They were in the police station, it appears.

Clearly that woman would have killlllllllllllled him before any of the few dozen fellow officers would have intervened.

I take it back. Sears is too high class a pedigree for your degree. Wal-Mart is popular in Tenn-Ass-Cee, is it not?

2:17 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

Carl,

I welcome the opportunity to banter, but I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

With you coming in here to insult the bloggress and her posters, you better get to a point fast before the banhammer gets involved.

2:29 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger bigbang said...

That was an outstanding slap by the policeman. Swift justice.

3:05 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Helen,

The article as well as the study indicate that reciprocal violence leads to higher incidences of injury for both parties. The message is that responding to violence with violence is a way of increasing the liklihood that someone ends up injured.

Surely you didn't mean to cite that article as evidence of the grave danger the officer was placing himself in. We've all known a few strict teachers in our lives, but the idea that the officer was placing himself at risk of significant injury is pretty laughable.

Regardless, significant injury to either party - teacher or police officer, is a negative outcome. Whether the officer reponded bravely or not (I would say no, but YMMV) is not the question. His action, as indicated in your cited article, increased the potential for injury.

Perhaps that's not what you intended when you cited the article. In that case, it may be a good idea to find other evidence for your assertion. Citing an article denouncing reciprocal violence is hardly a strong argument to defend someone striking back at someone else.

I'm not religious but I know that many of the people who read your column consider themselves Christian. I believe that there is a teaching of Christ that applies to being struck upon the cheek.

Anyways, thank you for replying to my impertinent question. I think I understand the point you are trying to make, but I don't believe that this particular incident is a good example for you to be trying to make it with (and apologies for the awkward sentence).

Regards,

Dragon-King Wangchuck.

3:27 PM, February 26, 2010  
Blogger Danny said...

The cop was restrained, but, bitchy, manipulative woman probably deserved a good hard punch to the face, followed by a stomping on the ribs. That would have taught a bully like her that there is someone bigger and nastier than her,and thus she ought to turn over a new leaf.

Looks like Carl is one guy who deserves a beat-down.

11:15 AM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger br549 said...

I'd like to bitch slap Carl and watch him cry. I'll bet the wimp couldn't punch his way out of a beauty shop if it became necessary.

1:05 PM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger Danny said...

br549 - he-man Carl couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.

let him try to attack cancer patients currently under treatment,like you and I and we will see how good he fights.

2:34 PM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger God Of Bacon said...

TMink,

"Pansy education psychologists always tell kids not to fight back against the bullies."

When a victim of bullying fights back, the bully will often escalate the violence until the victim is seriously injured or killed. Then the bully will claim self defense and everyone will back him up. For an explanation of why the Columbine killers appeared to attack everyone instead of simply targeting bullies, go here:

http://columbine101.blogspot.com/2009/01/columbine-101-lesson-one-real-world.html

9:39 PM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger pdwalker said...

When a victim of bullying fights back, the bully will often escalate the violence until the victim is seriously injured or killed

Simply. Not. True.

Perhaps somewhere that is the case, and maybe your experience is with bullies of a different breed, but fighting back is the best way to make bullies leave you alone.

10:48 PM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger Danny said...

The Columbine killers were no "victims" of bullying . That is prepostrous. They were cold blooded killers, and apologists in the media and academia are now trying to portray Kliebold and Harris as "victims". What a bunch of balderdash

10:50 PM, February 27, 2010  
Blogger Danny said...

The only language bullies seem to understand is overwhelming violence. "the counter-veiling force of terror" as the folks in the days of the cold War used to say.

9:33 AM, February 28, 2010  
Blogger Topher said...

Again, I think we are mixing up bullies and thugs, and there are both in high school.

A bully is someone who turtles in the face of a bigger threat.

A thug is pathologically violent and escalates.

10:11 AM, February 28, 2010  
Blogger Methadras said...

johnny phenothiazine said...

She's probably a fool, but he's a swine. This is not a point I care to debate; any man who hits a woman, except in desperate self-defense, is far less than a man, period.


And yet from the reaction that was heaped upon this woman after the realization that she A) assaulted an officer, B) became docile after she was struck as to make the officers job easier doesn't seem to have registered with you. It was a little disturbing to watch, but yet oddly satisfying to see a man give what he got. She thought she could impugn her will upon him. He in essence said no. With literal authority I might add. I'll tell you this much, in the US, if a woman did this to a cop, she'd have been eating dirt while being read her Miranda.

10:07 PM, March 03, 2010  
Blogger Methadras said...

Nittacci said...

So, the takeaway from this article is that conservatives like to see women get hit?

Got it.


Only in your simplistic, shallow thinking mind.

10:07 PM, March 03, 2010  

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