posted by Helen at 8:43 PM
Sunday, October 03, 2010
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15 Comments:
I can't believe this. There are actually BOOKS on how to instigate hot sex with your guy.
Men are like paper clips: Neither come with Users Manuals for a reason.
Go buy a French maid outfit and a feather duster. When he comes home from work, let him catch you polishing the coffee table...from behind.
Christ. I should have a web site.
This reminds me of a video I saw - I forget where now so I can't find it, but it was a comedy skit where some board members of a women's magazine (I think) were doing the sex advice section and everything ended with "touch his penis."
Seriously, are people really this dim that they need a book on how to do this?
So should I stop calling my fwb/bf/whatever "honey" while we're having sex?! I mean, he doesn't seem bothered...
Or you could try marrying someone you actually like.
Or you could try marrying someone you actually like.
For, at the very least, a substantial minority of American women, this would require same-sex marriage.
my wife calls me hon, sweety and a number of other terms of sincere endearment, but when those orgasms daisy-chain, she calls me alistair.
the reason why couples aren`t having sex is because modern women use sex as a reward if we are good little doggies and do exactly what they want...and make thier mothers happy too.
and changing the words men use to get her attention away from oprah and dancing with the stars isn`t going to change that narcissistic psychopath`s behaviour.
is that over the top?
dr alistair,
Nope, not over the top. But it could work if you (the royal you, not you personally) changed "honey" to "hey you little tart, get over here...." and then grabbed her by the arm and laid a hot kiss on her. Then again, if she's watching Oprah, maybe not.
The woman haters will disagree with me here but having to work long hours just to make ends meet has a debilitating effect upon one's sex life as well. Add that to the fact that millions of Americans don't marry someone they like.
re Oprah...
A woman's mind means a lot to me, particularly if I plan to live with its effects until death.
I don't care if a woman has Dolly Parton's top, Kim Kardashian's bottom, Giada De Laurentiis' smile and Sophia Loren's face: If I know a woman watches Oprah, The View, Martha Stewart or Suze Ormann, there is no way I want to contribute to the replication of her genes.
Seriously. The flesh crawls at the mere thought.
Kevin M, loved your opening salvo.
This comment has been removed by the author.
*Yawn*
Well, get working Kevin M.
when click on "tether", i find....nothing.
I read Stuart's commentary on this book, but I did not read the book itself. I have great respect for Dr. S's reviews, etc. but I think he got it wrong this time. He, and the book's author, think that couples should be more formal with each other in order to improve their intimacy. As someone who has had a great marriage for 34 years, I disagree. My wife still remembers when I first called her "doll" after we were dating for a while. We are very free with terms of endearment with each other and our sex life has not been lacking all this time. I think this kind of familiarity helps couples to bond and become closer. Very much in the same way when friends and relatives call each other "bro, buddy, pal" (for guys) and "sweetie, grrlfriend, " (for women). I think use of these terms is more common amoung New Yorkers and Southerners than other regions and more among Blacks than among Whites, etc. I don't think the use of such terms helps or harms a marriage and more depends on a person's culture than anything else. Does the book (or any other reference) quote studies to back up the claim that there is a correlation between sexual activity and the use/non use of endearment terms? C'm Doctors Helen and Stuart! I thought you PhD types insisted on an analysis of cold hard facts!!!
Kevin M., your thoughts seem like common sense, but they're contradicted by the real-life experience of a lot of women out there who are desperately trying to get their husbands interested in sex. It's not as common a meme in our society as the horny husband chasing his reluctant wife around the bed, but there are plenty of marriages out there with sex-starved high-desire wives trying to figure out their low-desire husbands.
Not picking on you, just pointing out that although it's counter-intuitive, it happens.
Jim,
I think what the authors of the book are trying to get at is that it is important to respect your partner and treat them at least as well or better than you treat others. Calling someone "honey" is not derogatory but it is perfunctory, in the sense that it can become a stale habit that saps the person's individualism and specialness. As far as studies, take a look at the work of John Gottman who says that contempt is highly linked to divorce. The authors of the book make a point not to call your partner names, even those that seem harmless can hurt or become routine and seem contemptuous. You do make a good point and some of this could be cultural,though I must say I found the book to make some very valid points.
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